Top Funny Insurance Jokes

Top Funny Insurance Jokes

Insurance is not normally a laughing matter and humor are not something that is usually associated with the insurance business. However, there is always laughter to be found somewhere. Here is a collection of the most entertaining insurance jokes, anecdotes, and funny insurance cartoons images

Now relax and read funny jokes on Insurance policies and on Insurance agents.

Hopefully it will make you laugh. Enjoy


 

➡ What do hospital gowns and insurance policies have in common?
You're never covered as much as you think you are.  😀 

 ➡  What do an insurance policy and a woman have in common?
They are both expensive, difficult to understand and what you get is not guaranteed.  😀

 ➡ What´s the best thing about turning 65? No more calls from life insurance agents.   😀
 ➡ A cop arrives at the scene of an accident to find a car has smashed into a tree and the driver is till inside. The cop rushes over and asks the driver, "Are you ok?"
The driver replies, "How do I know? I'm not a lawyer." 😀

 ➡ I went for a interview for a job as an insurance salesman. On the application form where it said "Prior experience", I just wrote "Lifeguard" and nothing else. The interviewer said, "We're looking for someone who is able to not only sell insurance but can also sell himself. How does working as a lifeguard relate to salesmanship?"
I said, "I can't swim."

I got the job. 😀

 ➡ My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other — so now it's just a waiting game. 😀
 ➡ Life insurance is a policy that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.  😀 
 ➡ Medical insurance is what allows people to be ill at ease.  😀 
 ➡ There are worse things in life than death - have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? 😀
 ➡ Arguing with an insurance adjuster is like wrestling a pig in the mud... After a while, you realize that he likes it.  😀 
 ➡ Insurance agents never retire, they just expire. 😀

 ➡ A woman was in the hospital after feeling very ill. The doctor says to her, "I have some bad news for you. You only have three months to live."

"Oh that´s terrible," the woman sighs, "what am I going do?"

The doctor replies, "Marry an insurance agent."

"Will I live longer?" asks the woman. "

"No," replies the doctor, "but it will SEEM longer."   😀 

 ➡ A drunk wanders into the lounge of a hotel where an insurance convention is being held, intent on causing trouble. He yells, "I think all insurance agents are crooks, and if anyone doesn´t like it, come up and do something about it."

Immediately, a man runs up to the drunk and says, "You take that back!"

The drunk snears and replies, "Why, are you an agent?"

"No," the man replies, "I´m a crook." 😀

 ➡ How do agents traditionally greet each other?

"Hi. Nice to meet you. I´m better than you."  😀 

 ➡   Insurance agent to his lawyer: I want a divorce. My wife hasn´t spoken to me for six months.

Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!  😀

 ➡ An actuary and a farmer were travelling by train. When they passed a flock of sheep in a meadow, the actuary said, "There are 1248 sheep out there." The farmer replied, "Amazing. By chance, I know the owner, and the figure is absolutely correct. How did you count them so quickly?" The actuary answered, "Easy, I just counted the number of legs and divided by four.  😀
 ➡ Q : What's the difference between an insurance company CEO and the mafia don?
A : The insurance company CEO can tell you how many people will die this year. The mafia don can tell you the names of all of them. 😀 
 ➡ A client calls up his insurance agent and tells him he needs to file a claim.
The agent says “Tell me what happened?”

The client tells him and the agent says “I’m sorry but that’s not covered.”

The client says “well, let me explain better what happened.”

The agent says “I´m sorry but that´s not covered either.”

The client says ” I´ll tell you what, you tell me what´s covered and I´ll tell you how it happened!”  😀 

Search More Insurance Jokes
Custom Search